Reply to Is there any expectation on a family member who stays “postpartum”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I did actually have fleeting thoughts that my MIL might try to take my baby away from me when I was postpartum. I don't think it's that weird, because you are pumped full of hormones that are designed to make you fiercely protective of your baby. If you combine that with a demanding, grabby MIL with no boundaries, you're going to get some weird thoughts.

My MIL kept complaining that I was "hogging" the baby because I was nursing. She felt that since we were only visiting for a few days, I should allow her to hold the baby continuously during that time. On multiple occasions she attempted to forcibly remove the baby from my arms when I was holding her, and if I objected, she would pout and say "you get to hold her all the time!" Yeah I do, lady -- she's my baby and she was inside my body less than two weeks ago!

We went out to a restaurant at one point and ran into a friend of hers who she of course wanted to introduce to the baby. The friend came over, ignored me, cooed at the baby, and then turned to to my MIL and said "ah, you always wanted a daughter!"

Don't do this stuff to a woman who just had a baby. It might have been irrational for me to think my MIL was trying to "steal" my baby, but I had an excuse for the irrationality -- postpartum hormones make you crazy. I was also randomly weeping all the time. None of this was my fault and it's actually why I should have been at home in my own bed being cared for and not paraded around with the baby to satisfy my MIL's lifelong daughter fantasies.

I also think my MIL and FIL absolutely were annoyed that I had to be with the baby all the time at that point. They didn't want to deal with me (because of the aforementioned hormones and weeping and being tired and wanting to lie down all the time) but they wanted to show the baby off. So a lot of it was me just reading the room and then my hormone-addled brain running with it.

So yeah, did I sometimes get paranoid and think MIL was plotting to take the baby away? Yes. Is this my fault? Nope, not even a little, it was a normal response given my condition. Was my MIL partially at fault for it. YES. She was being crazy and she did not have hormones to blame. She was just jealous and grabby and refused to understand that my daughter's birth was not all about her living out her lifelong dream of having a daughter of her very own.[/quote]

I was not crazy with hormones after the birth of my children and was angry when both mil and fil pulled this crap with me. How dare anyone try to tell you that you should tolerate such selfish rudeness. Don't blame hormones. What these women do are complete b*  moves and they know it. That this crazy poster who hates women shows up to belittle new moms and dils constantly tells us all we need to know about her. It's rich that she refers to the posters here as bs. We know who is.

I'd been on extended bedrest with a twin birth and the ils wanted to take my kids out during cold and flu season to show off to their friends. Mil was furious that she wasn't going to get to take my newborns an hour away without dh or me for a grandma shower. My kids were attached to machines to monitor their reflux and on various meds. My ils are lucky I didn't toss them out on their ears. If people are rude and selfish like pp's ils, they suffer the consequences of their poor choices. [/quote]

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