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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS is a freshman at his top choice, costing $92k/year. It’s a very good school and we’re happy he’s there. He knew from the start we could only contribute $72k each year and he’d have to work for the rest and take loans. He knew this and was nervous about it but went ahead. Now that he’s at school he seems to feel duped. He has only met full ride kids who don’t pay a dime, or wealthy kids who don’t have to work or borrow. All of those kids have more money and time than him to go out, get take out, shop. His low income fullride roommate gets Starbucks and takeout every day. He feels really upset that we as parents somehow failed him because we can “afford” to pay the whole bill but don’t. (Of course we can’t afford to pay the full bill without compromising our retirement or tightening our belts to the point of absurdity. We already live frugally). We are going to have a serious chat with him about this but has anyone been in this situation? Any advice? [/quote]

If it is a T20 private you should tighten the belt further or take a small loan from retirement to help. These schools are worth the sacrifice. You likely have more free time to get a side gig than your kid. 
If he is at an ivy and maybe some other T20, the TA pay rate for undergrad TA can be 3k-4k a semester. Undergrad research is usually less, more like 2k for 8-10hr per week for a semester. RA positions can be 5-6k per year but is time intensive. The combination of jobs he would need to get the $ he needs would add up to 25 hrs a week. Top schools even in humanities majors have tons of work expected outside of class. Engineering would be near impossible at a top school with 25 hrs/week of work.
There are paid summer options that are much easier to get if from a top school, though netting more than 3k in a summer after living expenses is hard unless he can find a paid internship near home. However these may not be the best for his resume. Summers are needed to maximize the resume for top jobs, law, med, phD.

Bottom line: get the delta lower, pay 82k for him per year which leaves a reasonable 10k for him, he can do student loans for some and work for the rest yet still have flexibility to pick the best resume building summer jobs and keep work to 10h/week during the semester. [/quote]

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