Reply to PTAs: I don't want to donate money to facilitate adults socializing with their friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Wow! A lot of feelings on this thread.

A lot of people seem convinced I (1) don't volunteer or contribute to my school, (2) don't understand the nature of the events I'm complaining about. Let me disabuse you of these notions.

I am very active at our school and volunteer a ton. Every field trip, school event, clean up day, etc., I will volunteer my time. I've been a room parent several times. I also give a lot of money to the school. Previously, I gave money pretty much every time it was solicited, including to fundraising for the PTA general fund. I've done this for years. I also give money to support individual teachers and classrooms via Donors Choose, give money specifically to fundraisers for sports and activities including ones my kids don't participate in. I'd say in an average year, our family donates around 2-3k to the school and school-related fundraisers.

However, the longer I've been at the school, the more I see how PTA funds are sometimes used in what I consider to be strange ways. I'm not talking about thank you breakfasts for volunteers (we don't do that but I wouldn't have a problem with it even though I could not attend) or pizza at PTA meetings (we do that and I think it's good, the PTA also provides childcare during the meetings which I think is valuable for encouraging participation).

I'm talking about a series of adult-focused events and activities that happen throughout the year that yes, the PTA pays for (I've seen the line items in the budget) and that amount to socials for parents at the school at local bars and restaurants. I initially didn't think anything of it but over time I've come to think of these as a really inappropriate. They are usually not kid friendly, which means they are not accommodating to single parents, parents who can't afford childcare, or parents whose kids have special needs that can make it hard for them to socialize on a random Thursday night. The events are pushed by a small faction on the PTA, which includes a former president and two board members, and whenever it is suggested that we stop or reduce the number of these events, those three fight hard to keep them. Unsurprisingly, these events tend to be heavily attended by these members and people they are close friends with. I have never personally attended (I have a kid with SNs and this is not a realistic way for me to spend a weeknight) but have been told by others that they only went once because it felt exclusive and unwelcoming.

So with time, I've come to feel this is a way for the PTA to funnel general funds to enable a small group of parents to socialize for free. Which, since everyone in that group is UMC, is not even something they need -- they could do these events without any PTA involvement at all. I am baffled as to why these events came to be and cannot believe how hard they fight when any of us (and there are several of us who have become bothered by the events) suggest cutting back on them or suggest there are better ways to spend the general fund.

As a result, I no longer give money to the general fund, which means I also will not be contributing money via the annual auction this year, the PTA's biggest fundraiser. But I'm really bothered by this. We're going to channel are contributions to teachers and specific projects so we know where our money is going and that it is going to help actually support the kids and the school.

If your PTA doesn't have events like this, I'm not talking about you or trying to call you out. But our PTA does, I am increasingly bothered by it, and my post was an expression of my frustration.

Hopefully this clarifies things for people who were upset about the lack of detail in my original post.[/quote]

I would go to every PTA meeting and question the budget, and also propose alternatives and better things they could use with that money.

"Oh, for the $1000/year that you spend on parent socials, we could buy two laptop charging carts, this would mean that the first graders wouldn't have to bring home their laptops to charge every day."

"Alternatively, we could give every teacher in the school a $20 gift card to help with classroom supplies. I don't know about you guys, but I had to send in tissues and paper towels twice this year!"

Finally, I would review the PTA bylaws because it's entirely possible that this is not allowed by the PTA's governing organizations. Any org that calls itself a PTA has to follow the rules of the National PTA.[/quote]

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