Reply to (Vacation wife) Help. Spiraling.

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[quote=Anonymous]It’s a blessing in disguise that he can’t drive the kids. He’s a liar, that’s his proven track record. You CANNOT trust that he’s been sober since his DUI. You were already in a situation where you shouldn’t have been relying on him to drive the kids to activities. He’s SO good at *pretending* to be working out his s**t and bettering himself. How many times do you have to be burned by him to really believe that? There’s still some co-dependency there.

Creating stability for the kids cannot involve pretending that this s**t isn’t happening. You can protect them from the drama of it by being their north star, to the best of your ability but it’s like you’ve been desperately trying to prevent the ground from crumbling beneath your kids by doing frantic jumping jacks. It’s not going to work.

Don’t move him back in. As PP said, he has to figure out his own stuff. You frantically attempting to clean everything up to protect the kids’ stability is not sustainable, and will not work. He has to stop calling you sobbing - how many times has he done that? The best path to stability is problem-solving this on separately from him, with your own resources.

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