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[quote=Anonymous]OP, for your son I would suggest getting a good lawyer and therapist immediately (whether he's innocent or guilty). All people are entitled to legal counsel and should have it. Especially since he is a minor, legal and mental health support seem urgent.

He is a minor and children make mistakes but he still should be held accountable for any crimes he may have committed. Therapy and lawyer will be helpful whether he's guilty or innocent. He could be either.

For everyone else reading this, it's a good reminder to keep talking to your sons and daughters and not let them fall into the rabbit holes of their friend groups and phones and social media for hours with no adult parent supervision. Peers are not effective character teachers or stand-ins for parents of tweens and teens. Adults need to remain involved parents even when the kids don't "seem" to need us.

My friends with older kids told that in their experience/wisdom having raised adults, the most important time to be a hands-on parent was the teenage years. Another caregiver or grandparent could care for their babies/toddlers/grade-schoolers for the most part but it was the middle-school to high-school years that was the danger zone. They need less care (since they can wash/feed/clothe themselves) but they still need involved parents to talk to about decision-making, advise them, give counsel, talk through character dilemmas, bounce off ideas for handling peer/group dynamics/drama, discuss sudden bust of intense feelings (stress, pressure, puberty, self-esteem).

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