Reply to Parent expecting me to pay back parent plus loan

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Gurlllll pay that loan. [/quote]
Dumb take.

OP, it sounds like your mom tried to do the right thing by helping pay for your education, but screwed up in every way: communicating with you about college costs, managing her finances, marrying someone equally financially helpless, divorcing without discussing the financial impact on her or you, etc.

If you care about her, I’m sorry to say you need to sit down with her and have a discussion about all the finances.  Paying her loan may not make sense, but as you are realizing, that may be the least of the financial burdens she’ll impose going forward.  I’m truly sorry.  My parents had their extreme flaws, but they were straightforward and tried to be responsible about their finances, which made it much easier to help out where needed.[/quote]

The thing is my mom does what she wants. There is no sitting down with her. She doesn't consider us in her decisions and she is so adamant when she makes dumb financial decisions. No 401k. Huge new mortgage. Im worried this is a sign of what is to come as we try to make sure that as a family we pay off all our debts (and yes my husband's debt is part of our household debt just like my actual own student loans are consider his debt as well) so that we are not in the same situation as my mom. I just worry it is a sign of what is to come with other matters. [/quote]

Say no. Remind her it is not your debt. The loan is in her name. She is legally responsible for it and can’t transfer it to someone else by text. Offer to sit down with her and go over finances if she can’t make ends meet. It may be the only way to get her to stop pretending her expenses don’t exceed her income and with divorce your standard of living changes.

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