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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Clarification. We can give them $20k, but I worry that this is the beginning of an ongoing, unexpected financial expense for us. We don't make a lot of money and have been diligently saving for our own retirement (we're both 50). I'm just worried about the setback. Does it start with a roof and end with $9k/month in assisted living? I surely can't be the only one going through this situation. There's one sibling with no money, hence the question about a loan against their equity. They are wonderful people, I'm not vying for their house, we're happy to help them. I'm just hoping it doesn't come at the expense of our own retirement.[/quote]

You’re correct to be concerned.

If nothing else, [b]this means they can’t afford their house. [/b]The best course of action would be for them to downsize. My neighbors just did this and it takes an enormous amount of effort and energy — most people wait until there’s an emergency and it makes a stressful situation so much worse.

The in-laws need to be open to downsizing to an apartment that they can afford. That’s really the only option.

It makes no sense for you to overextend yourselves financially to keep them in a house they can’t afford to maintain. Get ready for some difficult conversations with your husband and in-laws. Are there any siblings involved or is he an only child? [/quote]

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