Reply to BF said choose marriage or a career

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got offered an amazing job that will boost my career and open the doors for a better opportunity. The position is another state for two years. My boyfriend of 1.5 years doesn’t want me to go. He flat out told me he loves me and doesn’t want to wait for two years to start our lives together. He is ready to marry me and start a family and I have to decide if I want be with him or choose my career. I feel like I will lose in some way whichever I choose. I don’t know if I will find another guy I want to marry or how this will affect my career. I don’t want to choose. [/quote]

If he really loved you enough to marry you, he wouldn't put you in this position.  This is a red flag[/quote]

If a guy were leaving they would say “if he loved you enough he would choose you over the job and wouldnt leave”

I am a female who agrees with your bf. You would be devastated if the roles were reversed - if you thought marriage was coming but he moved away. I vote stay and get married! [/quote]

This is a good point.

I personally wouldn’t leave. The job is just two years and it’s a significant distance away. It’s easier to find a job than a person you want to marry, who wants to marry you. But I would not turn down the job without an immediate engagement. Not September - now.

Or you can get engaged/married while you are there. Why does two years away prevent you from doing so? Especially if you have a low-key wedding.[/quote]
But, this is not "just a job".  OP said it would bump up her career.

IMO,  he doesn't care about her career or that she wants to climb up the ladder.  That signals that he will expect her to always put him above her own wants and needs.

If the situation were in reverse, and he had an amazing opportunity to go up the career ladder, do you think he would not take it? Of course he would.  And people would say, "Well, if that's going to give him the potential to be making a lot more money, then he should do it. You guys can always fly to see each other on the weekend. It's only 3.5 hour plane ride."   Right?

The hypocrisy.[/quote]

LOL bump her career.  Alright if this is the type of job that's the gateway to the C suite then fine, if you're that type of person, go for it.  I'd wager it's nothing like that and it's just any number of meaningless corporate roles that grind away the best years of your life.  Can't find that out until you do it though.[/quote]
Why LOL?  Would you LOL if it was a man posting this?  I doubt it.

Again, such hypocrisy.[/quote]

I would 100% tell a man that he'd be better off prioritizing making a family, including OP's boyfriend, at any cost to his 'career'.[/quote]

+1. We would all be better off prioritizing relationships over work. But that would threaten capitalism so "feminists" have to sell us the workplace as the place that your life matters.[/quote]

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