Reply to Read my Dad's memoir; description of my childhood was a gut punch

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're right.  He was selfish.  I'm glad you lambasted him.  He deserved it. [/quote]

Lol thanks. I mean...I was a kid. Jesus. And I was hurting. Like what did he expect? I knew I'd lost a parent. His description of getting together with the AP-turned-stepmom was just as bad. "I met Larla, and well, the rest is history".

What I wish is that he'd written down whatever version made sense to him, and just kept it to himself. To think he sent this to my mother is pretty unreal.

If this were all there was to him, it would have been easy to shut him out of my life. But he supported me in many other ways, including funding college and taking interest in my sister and I as adults. There was so many mixed messages that honestly, I never really felt like I could trust men. It was a terrible place to land emotionally.[/quote]

You should write this to him in a letter[/quote]

I thought about that. I'm just not sure what it would accomplish. I think as people age they become somewhat calcified in their recollection of their lives and the version in which they're comfortable. That's what I think my Dad did here; he wrote the story where he's not the bad guy. I don't think I'd have much success in dissuading him from that perspective, and I fear what the cost would be. This too is the legacy of him leaving the first time. It's cemented a fear that if I pushed too hard, he'd do it again.

I just wish this chapter had stayed closed. [/quote]

DP and I agree you should write the letter. What are you afraid of? You owe it to your 12 year old self to speak truth to what happened and call him out on his behavior even if he is unwilling to change.[/quote]

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