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Adult Children
Reply to "How much financial help are you really giving your adult children?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know people (30 plus) whose parents are paying for their down payment, co signing mortgages, paying for their grandkids braces, daycare, vacations, ivf, co signing on cars etc. a lot of these people would never admit to how much parental help they are getting despite having “good” jobs. [/quote] Yup, that’s the reality of living in any large metro area with lots of wealth. As a young adult trying to make my way through life I’ve run into a number of people where it was extremely obvious they had some kind of significant help from relatives.[b] They were usually pretty reluctant to admit this but sometimes there’s no denying it like when someone buys a $1.5M house at 25 with less than a year of work experience and a single income that’s probably $150k at most. [/b][/quote] Curious how you would want them to tell you this? Like what do you mean 'admit it'? I can buy much more real estate than my income allows due to family help so I am curious at what point I explain this to people? I don't mind people knowing at all, but it seems awkward to bring it up when nobody asks specifically. [/quote] So yeah, you have family who can help you. Many people do, it's just at varying levels of "help". Unless you brag about it or judge others who cannot do the same things you can, there shoudlnt' be an issu And yes, not sure how a normal person brings this up, because it's not needed and bringing it up would be obnoxious and braggarting. [/quote] Well, I agree. But other posters are insinuating that it should be brought up in some way since they think those they know in this situation won't 'admit' it. [/quote] And those PP are likely trolls or just obnoxious people. Who truly cares how your friends acquire something? I'm just happy they have things they love and get to travel, etc. They are my friends, so why would I be jealous or concerned? Just don't understand that philosophy [/quote] it's nobody's business, unless you are constantly bragging about it. I think the normalization of generational wealth should be highlighted more because so many young people try to compare themselves to others and keep up with the joneses. There’s nothing wrong with a wealthy parent wanting to financially help their children, but it can cause issues for others when they see someone else living it up with no explanation on how they afford it and then compare with their own lives (which we naturally do as humans). Comparison is the thief of joy but it’s hard not to do it, and knowing someone has way more than you because they lucked out has less of a sting than seeing people outperform you who started at the same level. [/quote] This is true - when I moved to DC with my young family and lawyer husband I stayed home for almost 10 years and despite what I thought was a "big income" we felt so poor - old house always had something major that needed to be fixed up and we could never get ahead after paying for schools, activities renovations etc.. We lived comfortable normal "middle class life" but i wondered how some of our friends coasted through hiring decorators, building pools and constantly taking crazy fancy trips while hardly seeming to work - well guess what - their family money was paying for it and it honestly felt better when we made friends just like ourselves, also lawyers, also choosing to stay at home etc. I'm still friends with both kinds of families and I have learned to love and value my life as is (even without a vacation house and country club membership).Lol[/quote]
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