Reply to If you’re happily married 16 plus years what do you attribute it to? What factors?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see success (career) and money being referenced a lot. Now I wonder if a woman is married to a less successful man who makes less, is she less likely to have a happy marriage?[/quote]

My DH is not a high earner and I've out-earned him for much of our marriage (at the moment he makes more because I'm launching a business, but otherwise I've made more). We are happily married.

He brings other things to the table. He doesn't make a ton but he's very disciplined with money, a great saver. He is a very stable, even-keel person and that's a very good balance for me because I have more emotional ups and downs and can be more passionate. He's very supportive of me, not just in my career but as a person -- I am someone who likes to try new hobbies, is always working on myself, and he likes that about me and is supportive even as he's more "steady is as steady goes" in his approach to life. He is a better cook than I am and cooks way more. He's a good dad.

I can see how marrying a man who has a lot of money or makes a lot of money can lead to a stable marriage, because it *was* challenging when we had a kid. It's really hard as a woman to be the higher earner when you have kids because pregnancy/childbirth/early childhood are harder for women. It's harder physically, your body goes through all these emotional changes, there are way more expectations on you. I think that's the only time I've ever felt resentful of him not making more because I felt so pressured during those years. But we got through it and now I'm glad. I don't really think about our differences in income much. And now he's the one earning the stable paycheck while I build a business (though we can only live off his income because my higher earnings ensured we went into this period with a low mortgage payment and no other debt). It all balances out. [/quote]

I wonder this too because my current boyfriend is not that ambitious. He's not in debt, a good saver and frugal. He brings a ton to the table - cleans the house, my kids adore him, very active in step-parenting. I was never the breadwinner in my last relationship and didn't like how controlling my ex-husband was, he took advantage of making all the money and didn't respect me at all. [/quote]

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