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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow this thread is gloomy. So these are the 'happily married people'? These are the 'great' husbands. I really hope that future generations of women and men have more respect and decency. [/quote]

As has been said many times in this thread, it’s complex. Great human beings aren’t perfect human beings. A lifelong marriage is a very long time, with people changing roles several
times. A life lived is going to have many things you don’t want, expect, anticipate, but you have to figure out how to navigate. And sometimes how you think you will navigate doesn’t look like what you thought at all if you get there.

Sometimes, marriages are just happy. Other times, there’s been a lot of story and heartbreak and work to make that marriage happy, but it’s no less happy. People need to learn that it’s all not Hallmark movies and bliss. [/quote]
When someone owns their damage, commits to repairing it, and proves they’re willing to meet you where you are and grow from there—that’s something I’m not going to throw away just because the world expects me to. For what? So a stranger can be proud of me for giving up half of my time with my children and future grandchildren, half of the value of the house I’ve built into a sanctuary, half of my retirement savings and the plans I had for that money? I don’t need a stranger’s pat on the back and I’m not influenced by their pity, either. I have to look at my face in the mirror every day, and I like what I see looking back at me. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made in myself through all of this. I’m proud that our marriage is stronger after this, that we are communicating better than ever, respect each other more than ever, because we both know what we almost lost. So you can judge me to make yourself feel better about a situation which you’ve never experienced, or, if you have, your own decisions. As for me? I’m doing great, and yes, I am happy. [/quote]

I did the work and everything. I became a much better husband but she still left. I think she left because the financial incentives were awesome. I made $450k and she made $120k. Do the math. I think financial incentives sometimes make divorce less scary from a financial standpoint. Divorced is supposed to equalize the households. But in practice it does not. The person receiving child support and alimony is better off.  [/quote]

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