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[quote=Anonymous]Create a mock budget with him as an exercise. How much do you envision having as a discretionary budget each month? How much does he envision? My DH is super frugal and I’m a spender. We each have $250/month that we can spend however we want. This covers clothing, makeup, eating out, gifts for friends, but also wide screen TVs, tools we don’t need, and the newest tech gadget. Do you see where I’m going with this?

DH wanted a new TV and I thought that our old one worked perfectly. So he saved up for a year and bought it. I think it’s a gorgeous waste of money, but I didn’t say boo to him because it came from his $250/month. On the other hand, I buy a coffee shop cappuccino once a week and DH doesn’t say boo to me, because it comes out of my discretionary budget. You’ll need to work together to figure out who pays for what. For example, regular undies come out of my budget, bras come out of our health budget (He didn’t want me to be financially penalized for needing lots of support), and he pays for fun lingerie because he enjoys it more than I dodo.

So sit down with your boyfriend and see what he spends money on. Discuss what you both think is fair as a discretionary budget. Discuss how the discretionary budget will change if you have kids or but a house. ( Hint: it will be smaller, much smaller.)  Go through an entire budget together. Either you’ll figure it out or you’ll break up.

I will say that I spend more money a month when I was younger, even though we make much more money now. Kids are just so expensive and they need more money every year. I miss my old discretionary budget, but I’m personally much happier with kids. [/quote]

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