Reply to Harsh comment on being a Sahm

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not usually a very strict parent, but if my 13 year old said that to me I would make them submit to a week where I: do not drive them anywhere, including their favorite sports and classes, make them take the school bus, make them make their own meals, stop cleaning the house or doing the dishes, and stop doing laundry. If they have no idea what adulting looks like, we need to show them.[/quote]

The issue with this (to me) is parents who both work do all these things for their children and their home.  Adulting for most people looks like both parents holding down a job and doing all these things.

I think rather than react defensively, view it as an opportunity to have honest conversations about why it's a privilege to have the choice, pros and cons of the choice, why more often women do this than men, what it does to earning power, risks involved, rewards involved, why it was the right choice for you and what it means for your family.  Ask them if they could see themselves doing this as parents and why.  Listen to what they have to say.  Treat them like thinking people and have a conversation with them about it.[/quote]

I like this response. The reality is my DH and I work FT and because we've never stopped working, and now have the flexibility to get people where they need to go, make family dinner, etc. because we were able to set up our jobs to accommodate family needs. This was the benefit of not stopping. Your kids see this in other families I'm sure.

Also are you too invested in their lives? The SAHMs are the ones I know who do the bulk of the social engineering. They don't have much going on apart from their kids so they are in deep. Maybe your kids are actually asking you to back off and get something going that is not involving them, or pilates. Maybe volunteer in the morning a few days a week? [/quote]

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