Reply to AP to “Stepmom”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand the expectation of inhertance.  That's a parents choice based on many factors.  If Dad remarries and is married 30-40+ years after this marriage, its not reasonable to expect her to get nothing and live in poverty.  She should inherit it all and they need to agree on how to leave the proceeds.  My sibling got both my parents to change their wills and leave them everything - or at least that's what they said (I cut them off at that point).  It is what it is.[/quote]

A spouse, at minimum, gets an elective share of 33-50% of the deceased person's estate.  You can't disinherit your spouse.  It is contrary to public policy as it shifts the responsibility to care for the living spouse from the marriage to the taxpayers.

Also, some people may not realize that some or much of a couple's apparent wealth may belong to their stepmom.  Previously married men had to divide their assets in half plus many pay child support, alimony, and kids' expenses, including possibly their college, and may not have much left over when they pass.  Sometimes, his wife is the one who saved, so the accounts are in her name and not a part of his estate. [/quote]

But this is the purpose of a prenup is a second marriage yes? You can contract out of elective share if both parties agree?

That said I have no advice to offer on how you would (1) get a cheating spouse to agree in divorce proceedings that any future marriage must have a prenup and (2) actually enforce that because what happens if spouse goes ahead and marries AP without a prenup?

It seems better to require some commitment to funding accounts or trusts in the children’s name at time of divorce ?[/quote]

Have you been divorced? You can’t make a cheating spouse agree to require a prenup in subsequent marriages or fund accounts in the children’s names.  You would have to have extraordinary leverage or give something up. Also, a younger AP isn’t going to waive an elective share in a prenup. She’ll have counsel and they won’t let her do that.  I have a coworker who is a younger second wife and she purposefully saves almost all of her income in accounts that she controls and her DH covers their living expenses. The rest of his income has income went to first kids and their expenses for years, so he doesn’t have much saved beyond retirement accounts. He’s out earns her by a big margin and is fine (or at least hasn’t pushed back) with their set up. [/quote]

Right I think we are saying the same thing. In the abstract it seems like that is what you would do but I dont see how it works in practice. I was wondering about prefunding something like college though. I think another poster mentioned that. [/quote]

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