Reply to Really tough morning with teen - did I do the right thing?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If consequences and punishment worked, I would be the most focused, productive, organized adult around.

Instead I am still disorganized, unfocused and unproductive and instead of having memories of a good childhood like my siblings, I mostly have bad memories as I didn't get to do much as I was always in trouble - at home and at school. Making one child the bad child who misses out on everything isn't really the parenting win some of you think it is.

As a young adult I tried to deny myself anything good and focus all my time and energy to get more done and sure, I did get maybe 5% more done but at the expense of my physical and mental health.

Down the road I learned to accept myself for who I am. I will never be the organized, productive or focused one. And even though others will be better at that than me, I deserve to still enjoy life, to have good things in life and to not spend my time in self-loathing and being punished or criticized or consequenced continually for things that I can't control. I am not a bad person who should be punished throughout life because my brain functions differently.
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I like your attitude. I am helping my college senior who often hates himself for not doing better and feels guilty for ever doing fun things even while he eliminated any extracurriculars or anything to burnish his resume in favor of putting his effort into his classes and his health accept the same thing. I do worry he won't be able to support himself though. Have you found a way to do that?  And still enjoy life?[/quote]

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