Reply to 69, zero assets, social security is not enough

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I really don’t want to help her, and there’s no way I can help her without causing stress on my family and myself. I am a single mom about to put 2 kids through college and I don’t want to jeopardize that. I absolutely do not want her living with me. I am carefully planning for my own retirement. I had to overcome a lot to get where I am. My mom contributed greatly to my low self esteem and other issues that made things very hard for me and I really don’t feel love there as I do for other family members. I just need to prepare myself for having to say no when I am asked to contribute money or whatever.[/quote]

Ideally your siblings will be understanding. Perhaps, as someone else suggested, you could take on a small, discrete monthly bill, so you are making some contribution with your siblings in mind.

Look, I have more money than all my siblings combined, but at the time when we were facing this with our parents that was not the case, though we still had more. I generally took on a lot of responsibilities, but I did not live locally. When our mom had to make the move to memory care, my siblings kinda dragged their feet on cleaning out the house and getting it ready to sell. I was not able to come to town to handle due to an immediate family health crisis. I did make it clear to my siblings I was not going to take on the entire burden simply because they were not taking the steps to get the house sold as directed by the broker I found to handle it. They didn't have the money to split the monthly bill for more than a few months, so they got the job done.

I think they appreciated that I paid more as I had more and I appreciated that they didn't stick me with everything. And FWIW, our mother had a BPD and it was complicated. [/quote]

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