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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]My parents are healthy. Oldest kid is almost 18. He would be the manger of the trust if my parents are unable. I already have separate college funds for each kid. Not sure why they would need more than what I planned.
[/quote]

I don't understand why your DH would need everything and why you think your kids won't need anything but college.  What about weddings/grad school/unexpected health expenses that if you were married to bio dad you would probably help with?  If you were married to bio dad any assets would immediately or eventually flow to them, and you are taking that out of the equation.  Don't be surprised if your kids end up resenting your DH.[/quote]

The kids are getting the life insurance. That would be enough to help with a wedding. I don’t plan on paying for grad school. My kids love DH. He is very generous and they wouldn’t have the standard of living they have without his income. They also have a bio father to assist. Why should adult children receive a windfall when my DH may need to money for his elder care?

I haven’t discussed it with DH, but I think he’d leave them whatever he has left. He doesn’t have anyone else to pass wealth. I guess he could remarry, but he wouldn’t stop loving our kids. He’s raising them. [/quote]

You are not looking too far ahead. It doesn’t matter if he loves them now. What matters is who he ends up with, if you die tomorrow. My exH is dating a 20-years younger  woman who has her own kids. He is also moody and already forgetful losing stuff around the house. Also drinks. If he’s not in a good mental state in his last few years  - whoever is by his bedside at that time might inherit everything. 
Do you think a younger wife or her kids deserve your hard earned money over your kids ? [/quote]

Repeating my question to this PP whose husband would inherit. How do you feel someone totally unrelated to you inheriting the family house over your kids, when husband dies ? [/quote]

Yes. I would be ok with it. DH, my kids’ stepdad, provides a considerable amount of support to the kids now. And the money we have is also his money. Since we have it all together, it’s not his and mine. We don’t keep anything separate. Just the life insurance for the kids. [/quote]

I think women are better than men at merging finances and kids when they remarry. I think remarriage post divorce should be left to women. Men should stay clear of remarrying. [/quote]

The PP woman is likely no worth/makes much on her own . Easy to merge when you brought very little to the table. Of course if most money comes from the husband during marriage he should inherit it

She would have spoken differently if she was high NW. I’m high NW business owner female (over $5m) il wont remarry [/quote].

I have $1.5M in my retirement accounts and our home is worth $2M. DH makes slightly more than me, but we pay for everything, include all the kid expenses, from joint accounts.

I’m sorry money is more important to you than having a life partner to share your life with. Your priorities are shifted due to your poor prior relationships. [/quote]

Maybe it was mostly him who contributed to the house , then it makes sense.

It sounds though that money is what’s important for your husband- would he leave you if the will is changed in kids favor ? . He should already  have accumulated most of his assets by mid age and be okay without your premarital savings. A life insurance is usually for second spouse. You have something going on against your kids. I haven’t met any woman in my life with such attitude. [/quote]

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