Reply to Ex forcing son to attend events with new partner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand why this post is titled, "Ex forcing son to attend events with new partner"

Very little of what OP has posted actually relates to the new partner; it's primarily complaints about her ex husband.

What I find problematic is that in a huge messy sh!tshow like this one, the mom/OP decided to focus on the woman/partner as though she's done something wrong. She hasn't.

She's simply a woman who is dating a man with a young adult son. And an ex wife who is high-conflict, drama-ridden and wants to make this woman a scapegoat. [/quote]

This. He has a girlfriend and wants to spend Christmas with her and his son. That’s not imposing her. That’s just life after divorce.

Also, we are talking about an 18 year old. No court is going to enforce a “50/50 custody schedule” for an adult. That’s not a thing.

Your son should make his own decisions and deal with the potential consequences. You seem convinced that you are protected legally re: paying for college, so what’s actually the issue? I imagine at 18 your son understands the implications of having (or not having) a relationship with his father. [/quote]

My 18 yo actually doesn’t understand the consequences of not having a relationship with dad. It can 1) cause me legal expenses again taking him to court collect tuition 2) shift all burden on college breaks to me which I don’t think is fair 3) potentially endangers inheritance. My son is idealistic and at this age he thinks he would become a billionaire selling drones.

And yes, im explaining to him that regardless of this woman,  he would be spending all future holidays with new partners of his parents. Sooner or later.

It’s just pretty insensitive of my exH to communicate the way he does with son. If the son doesn’t want to be at a dinner - his dad could have said okay, do as you wish but you are always welcome at my house. Instead of screaming to get out of the house. This is inadequate. [/quote]

You are absolutely nuts. Your son is not worth the few thousand dollars to collect tuition? You wouldn’t probably even pay that much. Your lawyer sends a letter to his, it’s in the decree… done.

Re: being responsible for all breaks — come on!! This is your son. He’s depressed and doesn’t want to spend time with an emotionally abusive dad. Help him, for goodness sakes.

Why are you so reluctant to step up for your son? [/quote]

I will now. I sort of had some gilt feeling also, not wanting to look like I’m interfering into their dynamic as  mother. It’s my exH custodial time now. [/quote]

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