Reply to S/O: How are you preparing your SONS to be respectful and safe, and to protect themselves?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time.  It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating.  We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat.  I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop.  I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant,  and reacting to pregnancy.  I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.[/quote]

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex? [/quote]

That was 9 years ago.  He wasn't having sex yet but he was dating.  14/15 is pretty common for first experiences.  My husband teaches 9th grade... our heads were not buried in the sand.

Fast forward to today.  At 23 1/2 ds has had the same GF for 7 years.  They are talking about marriage, buying a house etc.[/quote]

Dating for 7 years? So, failure to launch. Sounds like you weren't as successful as this as you thought.[/quote]

What are you talking about?  They are 23 and 24.  He graduated from college in June, she still has two more years because she's paying her own way.  He is working in his chosen field, and saving for a ring and a down-payment on a house.

Failure to lauch?  Hardly.[/quote]

Dating for 7 years mean someone's not committed. Cool for teenagers, not cool for adults. [/quote]

Even conservative loon “Dr.” Laura says people should not get married until the age of 25. That’s how crazy you are—even Dr. Laura thinks that’s too young for marriage. [/quote]

What's going to change in two years? If they're not committed, they should have been exploring options. [/quote]

OMG seriously go away.

You already said it's none of your business so bye bye.[/quote]

There was an episode of Dr. Phil on today that brought up how dating for this long isn’t good. I.e. [b]if you have to spend this much time talking yourself into it, it’s probably not meant to be.[/b]

Reminded me of my cousin who took 11 years to get engaged and married, started dating in their teens. Marriage lasted about two years. Now they’re happily remarried  with someone else.

High school sweethearts that last do happen though, even if it’s extremely rare.

Food for thought 🤷‍♂️[/quote]

Parent of the male here.

- "dating this long", should they have been engaged at 18?  
- they were both in college.  She isn't finished because she's working and paying for it herself.  She has her first required degree for her line of work.  The next part requires two more years in school.
-  he graduated in June.  They have a plan. They are both the kind of people who plan everything,  and this is how they are handling getting married.  I expect a short engagement once it happens.  
- They are not living together.

I don't understand people's problem with this,but that's OK.  Usually on here people are losing their minds if someone gets married under 25 - 27.[/quote]

Your son and his GF sound very mature. They'll probably be fine. [/quote]

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