Reply to At odds with spouse ove how much house we can afford

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, i just don't get you.  You keep saying over and over how this is about conflict resolution (and how we should all just divide by 4 if that makes us feel better).  And many many PP keep offering you good advice, which you mostly ignore.

[b]I think your question really isn't conflict resolution, it's really "how do I get my husband to see that I am RIGHT and he is WRONG!"  [/b]

And even if that is the question, the asnwers are still the same - you have to do a little bit more work than just bitching at him about it.

SPREADSHEETS:  lay out exactly your budgets at various levels - his, yours, and roughly in the middle

COMPARISONS: identify houses at various price points - what do you gain and what do you lose at the various levels?

COMPROMISE:  meet somewhere in the vast middle ground between you.  Many people have suggested the 1.3-1.5 range offers you what you claim to want.

After 7 pages of this, I am beginning to think you are only about status and show, and only want one particular thing, and god dammit why won't your husband get with the program already.  You have many, many highly desirable and enviable options.  I'm still not quite sure why this is a dilemma.  [/quote]

The problem is - she is right and he is wrong. By every possible estimate, they can afford 1.7 mil.[/quote]

That may, in fact, be true.  But just because you can do something doesn't mean you should, or that you have to.  In the absence of any real data, I don't think there is any way she can just by sheer force of will convince him.  Well, actually if she's a big enough bitch she can wear him down until he gives in, but for god's sake why not acquire some data points to back up your position that you NEED to buy a 1.7M house?  [/quote]

We are looking at 600k range and I can definitively see how I would need 1.7mil. If you want to be in the city (or very close to it), have separate bedrooms for all children, a two-car garage and a nice yard, you are already there. In areas with lower COL, everyone buys houses like that.[/quote]

Exactly, I'm glad someone other than me can see this.  There are many sacrifices with a job as demanding and high-paying as his, so I would like to enjoy some of the benefits that come along with a high salary, keeping in mid the things he values (short commute, keeping a hefty amount of savings in the bank etc.).[/quote]

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