Reply to “My friends warned me not to marry a white woman”

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Reply to "“My friends warned me not to marry a white woman”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“I realize we come from different backgrounds and I do try to be sensitive to that.  But at the end of the day, I am not happy with how we are currently dividing the domestic labor in the house.  I feel like I am doing too large a share of it and it is really impacting how I feel about our marriage.  Putting aside our different cultural and family backgrounds, the question is whether you care enough about me and our marriage to try to change that?”

I mean, that’s really the answer isn’t it?  
The other dumb digs about your race are harder to figure out—-I mean, it’s not like you did one of those love is blind things, right?  He knew you came from a family of blonde people and it apparently didn’t bother him when you were dating.   On the anti colonization thing, I’d just try harder not to let that bother you.  Don’t take that stuff personally.[/quote]

NP. To this PP, thank you. I quoted the above almost word for word in an email to DH today respectfully putting my foot down, because verbal conversations have gone nowhere. OP, I am dealing with somewhat similar issues, except I am a Black Woman married to a White man. I am tired of putting up with his crap - almost no effort to domestic labor. Leaves plates and bowls of food on the table after a meal for days without thinking. I just leave it there. His mom clearly enabled it as she still picks up after him when she's around.

It took two years of nagging to even get him to take out the trash regularly. Doesn't clean but also refuses to contribute to paying for cleaners. Thinks that rinsing off dishes = washing them, if he even does them. And on and on. No racist comments from him but I'm dropping the rope. And yes, if there's no improvement we are headed for divorce in a couple years based on this and other financial infidelity issues. See where putting your foot down takes you, OP.[/quote]

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