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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
There’s a difference in how you approach it.

I’ve been on both sides - the low drive spouse (in my first marriage) and the high drive (current marriage).

[b]In my first marriage, I made it clear to H what I needed to want sex - he needed to be nicer, to work with me as a team, stop the emotional abuse, do things I enjoy in bed. He refused to do those things, would get angry, and do the whole “married people have sex!” and “fine I’ll go cheat!” thing.[/b]

With my second H, I was calm and had multiple discussion with him about how sex wa important to me and I wanted to do everything I could to help him want sex, rather than pressure him into it.

When a year went by and he still wasn’t into sex, I had a calm discussion that I loved him, and I would never force him to have sex, but it was important to me so we’d have to either split up or open the marriage because I wasn’t going to force someone into sex they didn’t want or go the rest of my life without it.

One is trying to manipulate someone into sex, the other is acknowledging that you won’t force them, but you also won’t be sexless and so a solution needs to be found. Then they get to choose what the solution is.

[/quote]

A lot of women do the bolded part. It makes no sense. Stop doing it. It's ruining your sex life and your marriage.

PP, what did DH2 choose - more sex, split, or open?[/quote]

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