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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I left my xH for my AP. I’m still with AP, but overall I’m just as unhappy as I was with xH.

One thing I learned is that no matter who you are with, there will be problems. There is no perfect person where everything will be perfect with them. You just trade one set of problems for another.

Same with the benefits. There are tradeoffs. xH was far more financially stable and had more financial prospects. AP (current H) is sexier and easier to get him to do what I want. Neither really make me happy. I’ve learned that happiness has to come from within you. [/quote]

I did not leave H for AP but I completely agree with this.[/quote]

Yup. My mom stayed with her AP and he has an entirely different set of problems than my dad does, but overall no less severe. So she's still just as unhappy and it's way less convenient for everyone else. In particular, his financial problems, might seem like not a big deal in your 40s but it sure is a very big deal in your 80s.[/quote]

This is why it is known: cheating is about what’s wrong inside an individual.  The marriage, the spouse, etc have zero to do with it.  Cheaters will continue to blame everyone else for their unhappiness and change relationships, houses, move, etc…but they are still the same miserable individuals on the inside. Rotten in their core. [/quote]

It is really not that simple. [/quote]

Yes. It is.0[/quote]

No, it is not that simple.
It takes 2 for a relationship to fail.
While resorting to cheating as a coping mechanism can be questioned as sound decision-making, the cheated on spouse is rarely completely blameless.[/quote]

This. It is often a major breakdown of a marriage already and divorce is bad financially. It is not a simple as just leaving, and there are far worse things that can happen other than cheating in a marriage.

Sure, occasionally there’s a selfish sex at a narcissist, but that’s not the majority of cheating cases at all. It is a symptom of a larger issue and divorce may not be feasible (at least for awhile) for Financial reasons, health reasons, childcare reasons, geographic reasons, etc. [/quote]

Nope. Still cowardice. If there's "a major breakdown of a marriage already" you open the marriage or divorce. You have a simple conversation, like an adult.

All cheating is selfish, self-centering theft. It's a symptom of massive character defects and morally-bankrupt behavior on the part of the cheater, and only the cheater. You can't be responsible for something you don't know about or consent to. So while the cheated-on party may be partially responsible for whatever conflict exists in the marriage, responsibility for the decision to avoid resolving that conflict by cheating rests on the cheater alone.

Of course, being a low-integrity POS person, they'll blameshift. But it's still 100% on them.[/quote]

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