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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I understand OP's frustration. I have neighbor who is always doing stuff like this to me. Texting me for only stuff she needs. If I don't respond right away she texts again and then says that I'm mean, etc. She never texts me to invite the kids over for a playdate, it's always when she needs something - and yes, even responding to a daily text that a kid got on the bus becomes a burden that adds resentment. If OP's neighbor is so concerned, she can get an Airtag for her kid or walk the kid to the bus stop herself. Here's another tip OP - if you ever are looking for an easy way to identify a user, it's usually the moms saying how they "love their village!". Anyone who is preaching about how great their village is, is someone who is going to take advantage and not offer the same I return. Maybe I seem cynical, but I've lived in Northern VA way too long and been burned too many times.[/quote]

No, you need to say what you mean.

Some people love their villages because they feed those villages. They support them. They understand give and take. They also state their abilities, preferences and boundaries clearly, concisely and honestly. They dont do things for approval or expecting reciprocation. They also don’t tend to see every minor inconvenience as a major and insurmountable burden. They also work with people when they’re having trouble, with the faith that the other party will do the same. The amazing thing is in a village, even if that person never can, others can and will. That’s a village.

What makes me kind of laugh is how burdened people here feel of abbreviation from their lives. It’s not because they’re busier or more burdened than others. I think it’s that most people don’t have help and think you should hire help. Go to communities who are struggling, and you will see families helping each other all over the place. Think meal trains because UBer Eats isn’t an option if your neighbour broke their leg.

DCUM people seem to think that asking for help is a terminal weakness and I’m here, as a gen x, to say it’s not. People, as long as we have been people, need community.

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