Reply to How to tell these parents I can’t help?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These responses are just crazy to me. I understand that you already have trouble getting out the door, but these are your kids actual friends right? My son was easier if he had a friend around. I would offer at least a week to see if the arrangement works. Would you say no to being an emergency contact? what about the school looses power and cancels half the day, would you watch your kids friends then? When you need a favor this is going to bite you back.[/quote]

They might not be her kids "actual" friends. I have a second grader and her "actual" friends are her one neighborhood pal and her cousins -- people who she's known since before elementary school and with whom our families are pretty close. I absolutely would help out any of those families and I know they'd do the same for me.

At school my kid also has school friends but my experience is that these come and go and there's no consistency. Last year my kid had a good friend n her class who we saw once the whole summer because the girl's parents had a lot of travel planned and they didn't prioritize playdates. They aren't in the same class this year and when I asked if they played together at recess DD said not really. Now she has a new class friend whose parents I haven't even met yet because I was sick for BTS night. Its been like this the last three years with school friends kind of drifting in and out. We host playdates and invite kids to birthday parties but at this age I think it's hard for real friendships to develop unless the parents are already friends or put a lot of effort in and it seems like most parents are not super invested (which is fine).

So if parents of two classmates reached out to me to help them with something like this I'd feel a bit imposed upon. Sure our kids are friendly (enough that they'd know where I lived) but it's not like we're close. I would see it for what it is which is parents panicking over what I get is a bad situation for them and casting about for any solution. I'd be reluctant to volunteer and probably a bit wary of those parents in general because I don't want to be seen as the solution to everyone's childcare issues just because like OP I live near the school and we walk. The fact that two parents reached out would make me especially wary -- what if word gets around and more ask.[/quote]

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