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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think lack of guidance is what people here think it is.
Did they want you to have good grades? To have activities? Did they want you to apply to college? Did they listen when a friend upset you?
Every time they put food on the table they offered one sort of a guidance. When they drove you to school, guidance was there. Plus, let's all remember that when we are teens, we do not want to hear anything at all.
I don't remember my parents saying, you have to go to college, it was always understood, and clearly understood.[/quote]

I think you may be the one misunderstanding what guidance is in a parenting context. Putting food on the table and making sure your child gets to school isn’t guidance, it’s the bare minimum expectation for meeting a child’s physical needs (and not getting CPS involved). Guidance is teaching a child to navigate through social and cultural norms and to set goals either through instruction or example. Some of us with immigrant parents or those who were preoccupied with getting food on the table were not able to give us these tools for navigating the world or gaining any “soft skills”, which is the focus of OP’s question. Whatever the various causes for the lack of guidance may have been, the reality is that some children get built in role models, and others have to find them or flounder.[/quote]

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