Reply to Did Covid disrupt the parent volunteer pipeline

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Covid exposed even more inequity but also slowed it all down and allowed people to focus inward and not on their community. I see this in the PTA. We have 40-50 parents who volunteer out of a school of 400 families and most of these parents can just put their kid into a paid activity or go to a fun paid festival on weekends instead of setting up for a festival on school grounds. Free to all students and benefitting all the families that cant volunteer or financially contribute due to multiple jobs, many kids etc. We are all burned out now but not many new families are stepping up.[/quote]

Can you really blame those people for not wanting to burn themselves out for others who can’t or won’t pitch but want to enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor?[b] People felt taken advantage of in these largely thankless roles. T[/b]here wasn’t much upside for people who would like to enjoy their weekends with their families too.[/quote]

And I'd add, unoften unnecessary roles too that feel made up at times. if a volunteer wants to tell the community that we "need" to have this fesitval and is going to run it, that's fine, but don't asume we all agree with "need"[/quote]

Exactly. And there seems to be an attitude in here that some people owe it to others to put on an event because other kids “need” it. The other parents don’t have any skin in the game but are able to show up for 2 hours to have fun with their own families and for this reason, other people need to donate large amounts of their own personal time and often money to make this happen. Why exactly? I’d like to enjoy the events with my family too, but I’m often working. If another parent can show up for 2 hours then they too can help out for an hour to make it a success. Otherwise, what’s the point? Does anyone really need this fall festival, spring fling, fun fest, put on by a small amount of volunteers who feel put upon and not appreciated? Hardly anyone ever says “thanks!” There’s usually just input about how it could have been better or what was lacking.[/quote]

Based on many posts it seems like people would rather pay for enrichment than volunteer themselves. I'd argue that's incredibly sad, because it limits their circle and their kids' circles to other people who can also pay for that specific type of enrichment. It reduces the feeling of "we're community because we all live here/go to this school/are part of this local youth club" that comes from volunteer run organizations. It means fewer of the all important [url=https://optimumjoy.com/blog/the-benefits-of-weak-ties/]weak ties[/url] people need. But all everyone sees is the hour taken to put on the Fun Fest.

Obviously sometimes Pinterest Parents go overboard with tiny details - my kid really doesn't care if the donut holes for the winter class party look like snowmen or not but I know the picture looked cute on your Instagram. But the broad fact of these events really is important. We have to fight against the loneliness epidemic somehow, and I'd argue these free labor driven volunteering events are one way people can do it. Meet other people you wouldn't normally hang out with, provide something for your community, get a sense of a job well done (yeah, even if the freeloading parents are annoying complainers), give your kids another chance to see that kid from class that just maybe they might be friends with. [/quote]

I'm so glad that we can pay for enrichment and for sports clubs because [b]our local non-profit league is almost hilariously cliquish[/b] [/quote]

Because that's how they make it fun. Also because they have been doing this for a while and have developed a decided non-trust in humanity thanks to all the things they've seen pulled. Does it justify the behavior? Probably not, but it does explain it.

Running a local non-profit league is one of the most thankless tasks in the universe. Larla needs to be with 3 best friends. Friend 1 can only practice Monday, friend 2 can only practice Tuesday, and friend 3 can practice any day but has specifically requested to never been on a team with Larla again. Larla herself can only practice on Thursday and she wants Coach A whose practice night is Wednesday. Dad never responds when you ask which of the special requests you should accommodate, but the minute you release teams Dad sends a ragey email to the league president wondering why you couldn't read his mind and put Larla on that [i]other[/i] team. Multiply that by at least 5 for each age division. Then add in the people demanding a late add because they can't get their act together, the coaches who act like total jerks to volunteer referees (see the whole losing trust in humanity above) or parents, dealing with a recalcitrant county that wants to demand you do their job for them on maintaining facilities, and so much more. People who run non-profit leagues have the most thankless job in the world - yes, even worse than teachers. Nobody has "Thank Your Local Rec League Board Member" week.[/quote]

(1) The key to running a rec league or any kind of kid activity is to *not entertain a single one of those special requests from parents.* Have a system for assigning teams and and practice dates and fields and stick to it. If people complain refer them to the clear procedures for the whole thing that are posted to the website and distributed to all parents in print and via email. If a dad sends a ragey email do not reply except maybe to say "Here's a refreshed link to the procedure for sign ups and listing team preferences. Also in the future we will not be responding to emails that use profanity or namecalling or otherwise disrespect the UNPAID volunteers who run this league. Thank you for your interest and participation and here's to a great season." Do this for a few seasons and you will discover people get nicer and obnoxious people calm down or drop out. Be clear and consistent. Be fair. Also: It's actually fine for kids to be on teams without their best friends and perhaps even preferable for all involved.

(2) Where many rec leagues go wrong is that the parents who get involved do so at least in part to ensure THEIR special requests are observed. Thus the cliqueiness the PP observed. I have very little sympathy who are upset by everyone trying to game the system when they have already rigged the system for themselves.[/quote]

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