Reply to Having Kids Is Overrated and Most People Have No Idea Until It’s Way Too Late

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Reply to "Having Kids Is Overrated and Most People Have No Idea Until It’s Way Too Late"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are no guarantees with children and no way to know ahead of time what is in store for you. We are still at the beginning of our parenting journey with a 5 yo and it is sometimes exhausting but also often joyful. I have also learned a lot so far from being a parent. My DH and I often talk about how these are the best years -    we are truly enjoying them. It certainly will be nice when DD is more independent but we recognize we'll miss this stage.

I think the myth that OP has identified is that once you are past the little kid stage it is easy. My parents are still struggling with my failure to launch sibling. She finally has a job at age 30 but still lives at home. My DH has a reasonably close relationship with his parents but there is a lot of annoyance and frustration on both sides. Friends with adult children are delaying retirement because they want to make sure their kids can sustain themselves financially. That being said, I think the happiest I've seen anyone is my parents and in laws with their first grandchild. There is a reason many parents annoyingly pressure their kids to have children. They shouldn't do it, but it is totally in their interest because of the sheer joy grandchildren bring.to a person.

[b]I think one factor that can help (but again no guarantees) is sticking with one child. Studies show women with one kid are happier than those with zero or multiple children, and that only children have better relationships with their parents (on average, again, no guarantees). It also takes away a lot of financial pressure.[/quote][/b]

This is the way. I tell all my fence sitter friends to do it, but just have one. You get the experience of parenting but, assuming no special needs, you're playing on easy mode.[/quote]

Easier for the parents but lonelier for the only child. No siblings to bond with and parents of onlys tend to be smothering to make up for the lack of siblings. [/quote]

Yes, there are lots of stereotypes about only children, but the data we have suggests that siblings don't actually matter that much. Personally, I think it's unethical to create a person purely for another's entertainment. Either you want another kid or you don't. Proceed accordingly.

[quote]Pulling all of this data together, it would seem that siblings do not have a large impact on most characteristics we can measure. In the end, neither the deprived younger sibling idea nor the awkward only child one hold much water. Parents argue about these ideas across the internet, saying that having or lacking siblings is key to making your child the best they can be. The evidence disagrees. Your decision about how many children to have should be just that: your decision about what works best for your family.[/quote]
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/27/parenting/only-child-siblings-emily-oster.html?smid=nytcore-android-share
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