Reply to How to get through to DH that doing 80% doesn't count?

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[quote=Anonymous]Can you tell him how it makes you feel? So that rather than attacking his actions you are explaining to him the effect they have on you?

For example, a few months ago my husband started randomly leaving his clothes on the bathroom floor after he would shower. He had never done that before and I couldn't figure out why it was happening. I do 100% of the laundry, so eventually I would need to go get them from the floor to wash. I finally asked nicely if there was a reason he was doing that and explained that it made me feel like his maid, which I felt was disrespectful. We both work full time and I don't mind being in charge of the laundry because I'm better at it and he does his share of other things, but I said that for some reason having to pick his clothes up off the floor was insulting. He said he had been really busy with work stuff and hadn't noticed he was doing it but would stop and he hasn't done it since.

I think if I had attacked him and called him lazy or gross or something he would have just gotten defensive and while the end result may have been the same, I imagine he would have been annoyed every time he picked his clothes up "guess I better not be a lazy sack of sh!t today!" instead of thoughtful "I love my wife and don't want her to feel like she works for me so of course I'll put my own stuff away." I could be wrong but I said something, it didn't turn into an argument, and it hasn't been an issue since, so whether another option would have worked as well, doing it this way definitely solved the problem. [/quote]

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