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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Part of the problem here is that many older people selectively forget all the hardest parts of parenting (especially really little kids) as well as all the imperfect parenting they did. They just remember this rosy fake past where children simply did what they were told at all times (from infancy) and never cried or were loud or whined or argued and where they were just ideal parents who never yelled (or worse) or used a parenting short cut or whatever.

When people with these extremely well-edited memories of parenthood give advice or inject themselves into parenting situations it's always total BS because they are just not acknowledging like 90% of what parenting is. It's based on a lie.[/quote]

What are you talking about?  You’re just imagining this is what is happening.[/quote]

No this definitely happens. I've seen it with my parents. The simply don't remember the times we misbehaved and they definitely don't remember the times the lost their tempers or gave into our demands or parented imperfectly. But of course they did. They see we turned out okay and figure in retrospect they must have done everything right. But the reality is that you can make tons of mistakes as a parent and you're kids can turn out okay. Which is why nitpicking everything you see someone doing as a parent and trying to correct or judge it all is misguided. It's okay. The fact that OP's kid is using a pacifier at 3 might not be textbook good parenting but it's also unlikely to be a big deal in the end.[/quote]

OMG you have issues with your parents therefore your insane bizarre theory about literally ALL OLD PEOPLE must be true?!

I hope for your kids’ sakes that some older adults (even strangers) help you parent them, because you are clearly not up to the task.[/quote]

Np. It’s not just the elderly. Most people paint the past in broad strokes. Very natural to do so and good to keep in mind for perspective.[/quote]

Yes. Young people do this too. It's actually part of what drives all the unsolicited advice around parenting, especially parenting very young kids. People selectively forget the exhaustion, the mistakes, the isolation. They forget the 6 months prior to the day their kid gave up the pacifier and only remember the day it was done. I have seen this in myself-- I had PPD and cried daily as a new mom and wound up in therapy for a year but I barely remember the night's I sat up crying and stressing. When I think about that first year now I mostly remember blissful mornings in bed with the baby and my DH and afternoons in the park. I really have to focus to remember how tough it was and I was diagnosed with depression at the time!

Your brain pushes out things that are painful to remember for your own well being. The problem is that this makes you a bad advice giver if you lack self awareness of this tendency.[/quote]

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