Reply to how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think people are confused because it is not clear how you being in the town would make it more feasible to get her there..? At first, I think we assumed she lived in your town and you were contemplating letting her hitch a ride there and back with you, having a week with her kids. This wouldn’t cost you anything and I could understand feeling obligated to do that. But that’s not the case. She is on the west coast and you will only be there a day. So, let’s say…you buy her plane ticket. If you can afford that and wanted to do that, you could at any time. It wouldn’t need to be when you are there. Surely you aren’t considering having her stay in your hotel with your family when she could just stay with her kids. Maybe it’s simply awkward to let her know? I get that, but tell her anyway. Make it clear that it is one stop on a road trip. That’s different from buying a plane ticket to go directly there. [/quote]

OP was never considering trying to take her on the trip -- that is something other PP's suggested or imposed on the thread even though OP clearly had no interest in doing it.

OP's question is purely about hiding the trip from the friend and that's why everyone is confused. Because if the friend lives across the country and OP just talks to her on the phone it really would not be that hard to simply not mention the day in her hometown -- it's not like they will be there a week. It's one day. If OP doesn't want to mention it to spare the friend's feelings then... don't mention it. So easy.

Also it does seem weird that the friend is that touchy about it but if she is then fine -- don't mention it.

Either OP is making this much more dramatic than it needs to be OR there is something more to the story. Like perhaps the friend obsessively stalks OP's DH and kids on social media and OP knows they'll post about it and the friend will get upset. But if that's the scenario there are several other issues at play including the friend maybe following OP's family too closely and OP's family perhaps posting too much to social media. If that's the scenario then OP would have to disclose the trip even if the friend will get mad. Or convince her family not to post about it. In any case at that point we're getting into weird enmeshment and the situation is unnecessarily complicated and perhaps the friend just needs to deal with it.[/quote]

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