Reply to Are there ramifications for being a SAHM?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There isn’t a middle ground for everyone. If a woman makes 55-80k and has poor mat leave, the daycare isn’t going to be amazing or start after age 1.

The toughest aspect of this is that some kids really can thrive in any childcare setting, while others will be flooded with stress hormones during their most formative years. [/quote]

If a woman is married to a guy making enough for her to stay home in dc, then it’s on her if she’s only making 55k by the time she has kids. Save for teaching, anyone with a college degree can target 80k out of college. So if 5-10 years later, you’re sitting at 60k, that’s a choice you made.

Of course, anecdotally, I think that’s exactly it. Some women start to drag their feet in their careers as early as 25. Baby comes along and, oh, how convenient, it doesn’t make financial sense for mom to go back to work. Three years passes, and it still doesn’t make any sense. But those same women come on here and reassure themselves that they could go back to work if they wanted. Well, yes, because they left a low level non profit job that will hire anyone.  Those women are also the ones on here ranting about all of our jobs being meaningless for society at large and apparently just “paper pushing” (to quote someone who called it that three times upthread).  And also like to rant that staying home is harder than working (well, yes, relative to their old boring job). A lot of sahms are from this self selected group that never really had it in them to work.  And those are the ones who seem to think there are no downsides (to the OP’s original question).

I also have a lot of friends who were on a great career path when they had kids, and genuinely struggled with the decision to stay home. It was usually made in the larger context of their spouse making the same or more money, long hours, work travel schedules, etc, where two people working those schedules was killing them. They didn’t decide to stay home because of some ideal about kids being better off with mom at home. But those ones still struggle with their decision, and won’t come on a thread like this saying it’s all roses. [/quote]

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