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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Cost benefit. Depends how invested they are in their careers, how deeply involved the mother wants to be in their children’s lives. Even if you have a flexible wfh job, you will still not be able to spend as much time with DCs as a SAH. I like to spend my time in each aspect with my kids (tutoring, [b]making sure they’re high achievers in school and activities[/b], taking my time to make them healthy meals, etc) and pass on everything I know to them, so SAH works. Others need a job to be fulfilled so their choice works for them. I personally think my mode of SAH confers more advantage for my kids, but to each their own.[/quote]

This is actually the #1 reason I choose to work. I could quit tomorrow and we would be just fine financially, but then I would be tempted to make my children my new "project". Better to model high achievement than to snowplow your way to it.[/quote]

For you maybe.

I have a longer range perspective as an older GenX who runs in the professionally elite circles of Ward 3. [b]The kids whose mom took some time off when they were young — say 0-8 — are more impressive as a cohort, generally. Smarter,  better personalities, more poise.  [/b]

Having a low-education nanny for years, then Lord of the Flies aftercare, has a more durable and negative impact on the youngest minds than striver parents care to admit.

And we all went back to work or resumed full time. Medicine, law, nonprofit and corporate real estate.  [/quote]

I think you have a vested interest in maintaining this point of view.[/quote]

I think I watched these kids grow up, because they all attended the same private preschools then k-12 in NWDC. This is not a parenting group that uses daycare fwiw, because it’s not really available around here. We aren’t feds who can use their daycares, snd there isn’t a Bright Horizons on every corner

Anyway, it’s just common sense that having a primary caretaker during 85% of your 0-4 waking hours will yield different outcomes when the caretaker is functionally illiterate with a 3rd grade education vs. a graduate degree from an elite school.  Not talking about kindness and safety considerations.

To OP, the doctor in our group dropped back to one day/ week for several years, then ramped back up when kids basically needed just an afternoon driver. The lawyers went of counsel or similar. The WaPo editor dropped to a very part time mommy track job temporarily. Some just quit altogether for a few years. [/quote]

[b]Why do you assume every nanny is an illiterate person with no education?! [/b]I had two nannies for my children when they were 0-5 years old. Both were American girls, with college educations. They weren’t  Ivy League level schools or anything like that but my children’s nannies were far from illiterate! [/quote]

Because she likely has anxiety, which is obvious from the post, and needs reasons why she can’t go to work.  This the type who refers to a nanny as a “stranger” and really thinks it was beneficial for her to stay home with kids.  I’m reality it doesn’t benefit her kids much at all.  [/quote]

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