Reply to It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

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Reply to "It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”"

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[quote=Anonymous]I actually think you are misunderstanding what people are saying to you OP (I mean in life not not on this thread).

That coworker might have just meant she wishes she'd travelled more before having kids. How old are you? If you are under the age of 40 she likely assumes you are planning to have kids and are just living it up a bit before you do. My DH sometimes expresses regret that we didn't travel more before having kids. I don't feel quite the same way but I get it. We were saving money for a house and retirement and have never been big spenders. But we could have splurged on a few big international trips before having a kid and it would have been financially okay. Once you have kids travel is different.

That said, we travel a lot with our kid and that's wonderful too. Including some international travel. We are planning some bigger trips with her as she becomes a tween and teen and going places we've never been before (Japan, Argentina, Africa) and it's really cool to think about sharing those experiences with our DD. It would have been cool to take them before having a kid too but I don't really have regrets. But when my DD was 3 or 4 years old I might have lamented that I would "never" take those kinds of trips again because traveling with a kid that age is really tough.

So you might have misunderstood what your coworker was even saying and also your coworker may be underestimating the degree to which she's missed out on travel. In any case I don't think she was actually saying she wished she had not had kids.

And I think the family friend with the disabled child should be given a TON of grace in what he's going through. And if your response to his comments is "wow he's so miserable I guess we are smarter than him for choosing to not have kids" instead of "hey is there anything we could do to help out" then you don't sound like much of a friend at all. You are using someone going through a very tough time to justify your own life choices. It's like responding to a friend who told you that they were just held up at gunpoint by smugly thinking "wow they must be so jealous of me because I live in a much safer neighborhood" instead of offering kindness and comfort. It's weird.[/quote]

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