Reply to Equitable/reasonable division of care among siblings

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Equitable/reasonable division of care among siblings "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every rational person will agree with me. You can read your response yourself: now it's a problem when the "unhelpful" sibling stops by to see their mom unannounced?! You and the other sibling are simply some control freaks. Nobody needs to make an agreement with you to see their mom. If pharmacy pickup is a problem, do it through Amazon delivery. You literally make up problems. Your sibling is allowed to see their mom without your approval. [/quote]

DP.  Agreed.  The sibling goes to see mom, and OP is still pissed because he didn’t do it her way.  WTF.[/quote]

The unhelpful sibling who is local hasn’t visited in months and has consistently been too busy when we do the group text to see who can cover certain medical appointments, etc.

So when they pop over for a 20 minute visit so they can clear their conscience without bringing anything (groceries? Something new or different to eat?), the consensus is they strategically didn’t provide the courtesy heads up so we wouldn’t suggest they swing by and pick up the blood pressure meds to save another sibling the trip.

We have a group text that everyone else uses for this purpose.

“I’m visiting mom on Saturday, so I’ll bring her groceries. Is there anything special you think she needs before I call her for her list?”

That’s the prompt for helpful siblings who have recently been in her place suggest things like, “I noticed she was low on butter” or “I used the last light bulb for her bathroom.”

Sure, the kids who are caring for mom are the a-holes while the sibling who visits for 20 mins every few months is the good person.

Unhelpful siblings are the worst. We are over it. You know how to redeem yourself, but you just don’t want to do the caring thing.

If this strikes a nerve, then try doing something…anything…to help. [/quote]

How does your mom feel about the u helpful sibling?  Does that play into your emotions?  Is your mom over it or just you and the helpful sibling(s)?

[/quote]

Mom has started to become forgetful, so she doesn’t have the best handle on how infrequent the visits are.

But periodically she has mentioned that she’s asked the unhelpful one to do something (like come over to check something or drive her somewhere or simply to bring the grandkids for a visit) but they’re “very busy with work/kids/whatever.”

Point being: it’s obvious.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics