Reply to DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Let’s be clear. This is SIL/BIL getting free babysitting so they can enjoy the party. What sucks is that your DH and his sibling sound like such jerks that they won’t even show any appreciation for the teenager who gets to work her butt off all day so they can converse. How nice for the jerks.

I personally do not let crap like this fly. I’d be clear with DH that this has zero to do with being there for family, it’s having your daughter work all day for your sibling and pretending it’s for her benefit. I’d tell him he’s exploiting her and not recognizing either intentionally or foolishly what is going on.

+1. Venues like Pump it Up is expensive. Sounds like the parents want free labor and the teenage girl to be smiling while she does it.[/quote]

Welcome to the reality of doing things you don't necessarily want to do for family.  My husband is the parent liaison for my son's sports team (not soccer), I stepped up to be an assistant troop leader for my daughter's troop when no one else would.  My daughter likely is too young to be much help, but if we wanted my son to help at a cousin's party, he would be there and be reasonably pleasant while doing it.  [/quote]

First you chose to do those things. Second I doubt OPs in laws would expect a son to do this. That’s women’s work! Third, the in laws or even the DH have not asked the teenager help. They expect her to pretend she’s a guest and then do the work. This is the biggest problem,

My niece had to deal with this. Once she hit college she finally told her mom off for pimping her up at every family gathering to babysit all the young cousins. Her biggest point of anger is that no one ever thanked or recognized her work once. It’s patriarchal to expect the young woman to jump in and tend to all the children without ever acknowledging her work. [/quote]

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