Reply to I filed for divorce today and feel awful

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Reply to "I filed for divorce today and feel awful"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Agree with much of what you said PP, but it only takes one selfish person who didn't find family life all that rewarding to break a marriage. My divorce was driven by ex's mental health issues and poor parenting. Divorce hasn't changed that, just pushed me and the kids close to the poverty level. My request that he do something about his issues (which were causing the kids to have anxiety and sadness due to his disconnection) led him to have an affair and then move in with a "new" family. My kids haven't had any good options since whatever his problems are kicked off in his early 30's.

I think the cases where people divorce just because of their adult relationship but otherwise are healthy, stable, mature adults is the minority. Most divorced families I know do not have 2 super involved parents or enough money, and often there are mental health issues (depression, ADHD, personality disorders, problems with intimacy, addiciton) in one spouse. Obviously 2 involved stable parents would be the next best choice. But when one parent is unstable and unpredictable and self absorbed the ideal is for that person to get effective treatment."

Thank you for this.  I'm so tired of the sanctimonious a**holes on this board claiming that every divorce is the fault of both partners who just didn't work hard enough.  [/quote]

I for one am not trying to be a sanctimonious asshole. Many of us are either divorced are on the verge of divorce. No sanctimony from me. But with a [b]50% divorce rate, I dont' think 50% of the population falls in love with and become parents with people who turn into assholes[/b]. Of course there are some marriages that should end or when one person doesn't step up or whatever. But OP didn't come here very humbled from this experience. He was just blaming his wife. A significant number of second marriages fail, even more than the first marriages. That shows there are a lot of people who go on to make the same mistake. I just don't want to OP to make the same mistakes. [/quote]

Don't want to go off the subject, but that statistic has been proven incorrect.  Among college educated people who marry after 25, it is much lower.[/quote]

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