Reply to DS heartbroken he’s one of the only kids not invited to bar mitzvah

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Bar and bat mitzvah have no spiritual meaning anymore  , it’s all about the party and it’s the fault of the parents trying to out do one another. [/quote]

This, but it is the result of so much money/power in the DC area.  I saw that personally at most of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah's our family attended over the years.  We belong to "that" temple and chose differently with a lovely family dinner at a white table cloth restaurant following the evening service.  Just close friends of our DS and family members at one of our favorite family restaurants that we usually go to for special celebrations.  We had a back yard summer party for DS's friends with music and food trucks, but it was done on the cheap compared to other parties DS attended that year.  I wish others would low key it like we did as it truly placed the emphasis with our DS on the importance of the moment rather than the party.  And for what it's worth, I felt pressure to do the back yard party because everyone else expected it.  Still lovely and great memories, just glad we did not rent out the entire four seasons lower level for a children's game room, adult card room, dining and cocktail bar for a bunch of thirteen year olds.  Yes, this really happened.  [/quote]

I think you’ve been drinking some political kool aid to think these celebrations are about power. Having a low key celebration is great if that’s what you and your family want. It does not give more emphasis to the service and the milestone if you have a smaller party vs a bigger party, just as a smaller wedding doesn’t give more or less emphasis to the marriage compared to a bigger wedding. My child has worked his tail off this year to prepare and has pulled back on some social and extracurriculars in order to go above and beyond on his Hebrew prep, dvar Torah, mitzvah project, etc. We are proud of him, we love big parties, most family is traveling a far distance to be with us and I want to graciously host everyone who is making an effort to support my child in a way that is authentic to me and to our family. It is wonderful if your family would find a dinner at a beloved restaurant and a backyard party the perfect fit for your child. The good news is you get to pick for you and we get to pick for us. No need to compare or disparage the choices of others. [/quote]

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