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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I met my ex for dinner tonight. We are going to give our relationship another chance.

I’m still in love with my ex and I just didn’t want to admit that to myself. Moving on was incredibly hard. The new ex was a nice guy but I just didn’t feel super into him. I didn’t meet my ex the first time to hurt him. I genuinely wanted to see him. I feel like I’ve been trying to convince myself that I didn’t love my ex so that I could move on.

[/quote]

Now it's all about love in this post...but have you told him it's really about you wanting that baby ASAP on your ideal timeline?

And his return now, after one year away, instead of three, is oh so convenient for that timeline? Well, convenient for him too, because he's back in town and finds his ex ready to leap back into a relationship and sex with him.

I suspect you and your former-ex-now-[i]instantly[/i]-committed-BF might have different definitions of what "give our relationship another chance" actually means, and we'll hear from you again pretty soon when he's not as quick to put a ring on it and start babymaking as you want him to be. [/quote]

OP here. I don’t just want him to have kids. I fell in love with him 3 months into our relationship and have always loved him. I would love to get married and have kids but I’m not in a crazy rush for any if it.

I was 31 when he left and likely could have been 34 if he was gone for 3 years ( most of his co-workers were gone for 3 years). Then I would be 35 when we got married and kids wouldn’t happen until 37/38. Women have a small window to conceive and I didn’t want to have to wait that long. If he would have compromised and got engaged I would have had more reassurance in our relationship. We talked about getting engaged and married before he got the promotion and then that was all placed on hold.

I don’t think either of us were selfish. He chose a career move that he worked hard for. I decided that I wanted a guy who was more ready for marriage and kids.[/quote]

A warning for you, OP: You "don't just want him to have kids" yet you revert quickly to your timeline, window to conceive, etc. None of that means he is on board with marriage and kids now, or even soon, despite whatever the talk re: engagement was before he moved away.

You also seem like a person who is so focused on your fertility and kid timeline that if you end up having difficulty conceiving--or failing to conceive, ever--you may end up crushed. This can be a recipe for ending a marriage unless you and he both are happy with each other and as a couple and able to accept that a bio child isn't in the cards. I think you don't really realize how you're coming across here as extremely focused on children and your timeline, even though you claim you're "not in a crazy rush for it." You say it's no crazy rush, yet you keep circling back to ages, time apart, future ages at possible conception, etc. I hope you and he can have a super strong relationship that is about the two of you and not vulnerable to a split if kids don't happen. Because you cannot guarantee kids. [/quote]

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