Reply to Would you go on a trip with a friend who doesn’t ever want to meet locally?

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Reply to "Would you go on a trip with a friend who doesn’t ever want to meet locally?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Repeating BS makes true!!

-Trump[/quote]

What BS? She’s divorced and her mom died. She is broke. She has always been broke before and after divorce. These are all true.

My mom has the same type of cancer as her mom. These are the texts and calls she returns immediately. She has given me advice on hospice and funerals. She always asks about my family and kids. Then she gets really weird and reluctant to talk about very small details about herself and about meeting. He job for example. When I asked about where and what, she became withdrawn. It made her so uncomfortable that I asked the schedule of her trip so I could coordinate my portion. She went from saying she has no birthday plans, that she has nothing going on to she wants to focus on her work but can’t say the work. [/quote]

You know asking for a meetup or asking for details makes her uncomfortable. You said the mood changed when you asked her to meet you. You said until then you had both been excited about the upcoming trip. You know those are uncomfortable topics for her so in the middle of a happy moment, instead of enjoying it and holding onto that, you went and did something you knew (based on 5 years of experience) would change the mood and make her feel uncomfortable.

Do you have anxiety? You’re trying to control the dynamic and having difficulty dealing with change. You keep repeating points everyone already knows. Your DH doesn’t want to hear about the situation which makes me think you’ve talked issues with this friend to death in the past.

You don’t have to understand why she’s doing what she’s doing. It doesn’t matter why, other than to appease your curiosity. She’s being there for you emotionally and in every way that doesn’t require a 4 hour drive. It doesn’t matter who makes the drive. Stop asking because if her saying no is due to depression or anxiety about her appearance or her home situation, every time you ask is pressuring her. You’re making her reject you multiple times instead of taking a hint.

I hope you’re not like this with your kids. You remind me of the type of mom who would never let things go or would say something so passive aggressive you ruin happy moments. Like if their kid is in a play, when it’s over, they say something like “you did such a great job! You only messed up 3 lines!” That’s basically what you did by inviting her to meet locally during a happy/excited period in your friendship. [/quote]

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