Reply to s/o How do we screen potential spouses for mental illness?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "s/o How do we screen potential spouses for mental illness?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Finding out your spouse has autism after marriage? Lol, what? Or narcissism? Or OCD? Unless you are marrying someone you have known a few months or less -- which no one should be doing anyway -- you knew about these things before you said "I do."

People don't suddenly figure out two kids into a marriage that their spouse is self-involved with no social skills. They decide they could have done better when they are two kids into the marriage (which may or may not be true -- probably not) and start labeling/diagnosing and complaining on the internet and making drama in general (because they are likely not at par either). [/quote]

You are wrong that you can always tell “you knew about these things” before marriage. Even if you have dated for awhile and even if you have lived w someone before marriage, you do NOT always know that person has autism, is a narcissist, is abusive, etc. I know it seems like you [i]should[/i] be able to tell such big, important issues like that but some people are really really good at masking and/or are so manipulative that they can successfully trick someone into thinking they’re wonderful for months or even years before the truth comes out.

I have a wonderful spouse so I’m not talking from personal experience but I have seen several friends/family members get into relationships where everyone thought their partner was great until there came a point, usually after having kids and other big stresses of life, they weren’t. My BIL is one example. Everyone thought he was great, he was married for 10 years and had a 8 year old before it came out that he was a narcissistic sociopath who had been lying and manipulating not only his wife and kid but all his family members and friends the entire time. Everyone was totally shocked. My SIL, my BIL’s own parents and siblings and closest friends. No one had any idea the double life he was leading. He is very smart and was really good at tricking everyone.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics