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[quote=Anonymous]Sometime around 9th grade, it's very useful for parents to take the time to really educate themselves about the realities of the college admissions process today. I mean really do a deep dive. Know the difference between ED1, SCEA, EA, RD etc. Get a sense of the testing universe. UCs won't even look at test scores. MIT won't look at your app without them. Know what a hook is and which schools value which hooks. Look at the admissions data from your high school. Who's getting in where. And why? Are they athletes? Legacy? And so on and so forth.

Then do a realistic appraisal of finances. Understand that financial aid and merit is going to vary from school to school. Some schools like Princeton are offering FA to families with upwards of $300,000 in annual income. Most schools don't. And many are in between. Some schools, such as all the Ivies, don't offer any merit. Some schools like Alabama and many, many others offer very generous packages to high stats kids regardless of income. Be mindful that your income today is not destiny. Know the ins and outs of financial aid and merit scholarships.

Finally, have a sit down with your 9th grader. Assure them that they will have plenty of college options. List them - state schools etc. Tell them what you can reasonable afford. If studying sociology at NYU is not in the cards, let them know. But do explain what you've learned about merit and the variability of financial aid. And then explain that if they want something more, here's what it takes. If they want to go to a top 30 school, this is what it takes - GPA, course rigor, test scores, ECs, leadership, recommendations. Same with if they want to go into very competitive programs like engineering or computer science - highest level math and STEM classes, science competitions, etc.

And then step aside and leave the rest up to them. It's their journey. A parent can offer information and support. The rest is up to them.
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