Reply to I don't know how I will continue this arrangement with DH for decades -- looking for creative ideas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
We are basically separated, living under one roof. Our daughter is 13. H and I hardly see each other during the week, as he leaves for work very early and comes home very late.

We cannot stand each other. Every weekend is living hell. While we both try to be civil, every discussion risks boiling over into a fight. He lacks empathy for me raising our daughter alone and doing absolutely everything around the house (he does 0) and accuses me of all kinds of irrational things such as wanting to inherit half of his parents' house.
He constantly badgers me to start earning 2x or 3x of what I make now (over 150k).

Neither of us wants to sell our beautiful house, and we want to pass it on to our daughter when she eventually marries and has children.

I actually plan to move out as soon as she leaves for college.

I just don't know how to cope with the situation until then. I am a heart patient (in my late 40s), and I get so upset almost every weekend that I fear that I will suffer a heart attack. I am very unhappy.

I would absolutely not mind moving out now to a rental, but I don't want to "desert the family home and the child." Plus, with the current prices, I could hardly afford a 2BR condo.

We live in a very expensive area. If we sold the house and split the proceeds, with the current interest rates each of us could barely afford a miserable dump.

Please help.

[/quote]

OP we are basically married to the same person. I have two kids though and we both work from home. The weekends here are torture. I wish I knew you in real life because I’m afraid to talk to my friends about any of this. Hang in there.[/quote]

OP here. PP, I am sorry that you are going through the same thing. I could not stay in the marriage if my husband worked from home. I only have to interact with him during the weekend.

To the other PPs: I appreciate you emphasizing the negative memories that my daughter is accumulating in the house. Your comments made me realize that my plan is not sustainable.

I think that eventually I will divorce. Until then I'll stay in the guest apartment during the weekends.

In my line of work I actually have the chance to earn significantly more, if I can manage to spend significantly more time working. With alimony, child support and working more I may be able to take over the mortgage payments completely.

Regarding the care of my in-laws, I'm puzzled why people think I should not do anything for my child's grandparents. It's just basic human decency. [/quote]

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