Reply to How worried to be about birth defects with advanced maternal age?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have two beautiful children that I had at ages 31 and 33. I am 35 now and my husband and I are arguing over whether to have a third. I desperately want one more, but he leans no (with the door still open enough to give me hope), and one of his reasons is that he's so worried about the risk of a baby with something wrong with it (chromosomal, special needs, birth defect etc). He says it's a prospect he can't even bear, especially because of how unfair that would be to the older two.

I would like to give him data or reassurance, but I can't deny that the fear seeps into me, too, not to mention how guilty I'd feel if something did happen after he was so open about his fear.

Can anyone share resources for this, or know off-hand what the general risks would be? By the time this baby would be born we would be 36 (almost 37) and 37 (DH). We have no family history of health issues. We did genetic testing and are clear. We have two healthy, full term, normal weight babies with healthy noneventful pregnancies.

Thank you! [/quote]

I don’t think 36 is an age to have really high concerns, to be honest.

I had my kids at 33 and 35. That said, I personally constantly worried about things like that and with every pregnancy is the chance for the unknown. We had two healthy children and pregnancies and decided I didn’t want to tempt fate and stopped with that. One big consideration for us was that we didn’t have family support and a spouse that traveled frequently for work so a child with severe special needs would be extremely difficult. I also never really felt called for a third so it wasn’t a hard decision. I don’t think you’re really taking a big risk by having a third at that age personally. [/quote]

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