Reply to Betrayal trauma

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[quote=Anonymous]Thank you for your reply, I very much appreciate it.  What is worse is that I gave my whole self to my husband, of 36 years, fulfilling all his fantasies even though I didn't want to.  I was told it was normal and I felt pressured and I basically disconnected and complied. 
I am very ashamed of myself. Porn was a big thing too. If I didn't want to watch it he got upset making me think I was not normal and I gave in. Then about 2019 he started going out, lying about working and being with friends and then I found out. Its been a terrible 4 years for me. I am still here with him. I stopped working and life in 2021. I was hospitalized in a psych unit in 2021 then have been isolating myself at home.  Its awful. I have been so traumatized. Yet....he thinks I should put it all in the past...but my mind can't and I am very unhappy and scared and lonely.  My life outside of home was wonderful, I taught Kindergarten and had an amazing group of friends who supported me and held me up every day at school, until I broke down and couldn't return to something I loved and fulfilled me. I'm just very sad. Thank you for listening.  I am happy I came upon this site. 
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