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[quote=Anonymous]My husband was a closeted gay man and lied to me for almost 20 years which was such a betrayal to get over but at the same time he made me comfortable and tried to be a loving spouse even while cheating and lying about things for a decade. When I went to a betrayal trauma group I found much worse stories. Stories about people who had moved their spouse and children to live near the affair partner,  had kids with their affair partner in secret, had transferred money to the affair partner or used thousands to hook up with others. Once you realize betrayal is much larger than you thought existed in society and people can be more corrupt than you ever thought,  you just sort of get over it and figure out what you need to do in your life to improve it. Once I realized how much cheating and options people had to cheat, I just decided there was no way I would have ever put that much into my marriage and time would be better spent working on me than worrying about how I could have saved the marriage or what any of these cheater types are looking for from someone. It's more than I can give,  that's for sure. [/quote]

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