Reply to In-laws are broke, DH has offered to help

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "In-laws are broke, DH has offered to help"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, just chiming in as another person with in-laws whose expensive lifestyle and tastes don’t match their means.

I’m extremely grateful that my husband has been clear with them (and with his siblings) that we won’t be the financial backstop.

(Astonishing amounts of money have flowed through their hands, and they continue to make housing decisions that are wildly irresponsible, while ignoring our advice - which they ask for - about how to get to a better place.)[/quote]

So how does this play out? Would love to know their ages along with their expensive tastes and estimated means. Wondering if we are in for this.[/quote]

Ages: mid 70s
Means: $1Mish in total retirement savings, plus SS and a pension that throws off about $3k/month
Expensive taste: Bought a condo with carrying costs of $5,500/month in their mid 60s, seemingly unaware of the implications of that fixed expense. Want to spend $10k+/year on travel. Could cut housing costs in half pretty easily, but emotionally aren’t willing to do so.

They are obviously not destitute, but the reserve nest egg is already being spent down and they won’t be able to afford assisted living or other situation to support more extensive care. Not sure how it will ultimately play out - family history of dementia plus longevity means it could be tough. Though the flip side is that even with lower housing costs, they’d probably still struggle with late in life care costs. It’s not great. [/quote]

OP, thanks for sharing.

That condo decision is costly, very costly. Let's say they've been in it 10 years x 12 months x $5,500 = $660,000! Not knowing any other details about mortgage, etc, they need to get out of there.

Spread sheet this for your DH. Also show him current monthly LTC costs for nursing homes in his parents' community. Best thing would be is to get them into a smaller unit they own outright and plan on their applying for Medicaid at some point. Your DH will not be inheriting anything at this rate, so he should not be going into the hole if he will not be able to recover any of these expenses.

My guess this is going to be hard for your DH to hear. And FWIW, I think he should be supportive of his parents but not when they are living in ways that are not supportive of him and his family and their futures.

GL![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics