Reply to Nanny wants to take 3-4 weeks off. What should I do?

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Reply to "Nanny wants to take 3-4 weeks off. What should I do?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a similar struggle with our nanny. We give her guaranteed hours and we pay her even when she greatly exceeds her allotted sick and annual leave time off.

We love her and so we try to ALWAYS accommodate her, but we are not rich and at a certain point it’s hard shelling out such a massive expense when the alternatives would be much cheaper.

[b]BUT, our DC is deeply attached to her and I cannot imagine separating them.
[/b]
There are so many advantages to having a nanny but in a weird way one of the downsides is that you do become enmeshed with each other and they are like part of your family and I don’t know how we properly extricate ourselves from this arrangement someday because we can’t afford this expense forever.[/quote]

This sounds scary as someone who is contemplating hiring a nanny. Such a tough situation because of course you want the kid to be securely attached, but then it brings problems too [/quote]

Not OP but I would think of it as like an aunt type situation, that you’re paying of course. I love the bond my nanny has with DC and it allows me to be 100% at my work - which is what pays for the nanny anyways.[/quote]

Right, but that aunt isn’t as enmeshed in your kid’s day to day life and then drop off suddenly once she leaves? Even nannies who stay in touch with their former charges surely don’t see them more than say, once a week or month[/quote]

I’m the PP who talked about our relationship with our nanny and I agree, it’s more than an aunt situation. In our case, the nanny is really more like a 3rd parent. She’s been an active part of DC’s life for 5 years. DC cannot remember a world without her. DC cries for the nanny sometimes and talks about her every single day, multiple times a day. When DC has been hospitalized (which has not been infrequently as DC is medically complex), the nanny has been at the hospital just as much as DH and I (we would each take an 8 hour shift in the hospital for days and weeks at a time).

OF COURSE our nanny is family and would always be part of our lives. It’s a permanent relationship. BUT, I don’t know how we step back. Our nanny has to make a living. I envision a gradual phase out but that may not be feasible unless we want to keep paying her to come less and less, since nanny has to make a living.

I didn’t realize how hard this would be when we first hired her. It’s of course a blessing but it hurts my heart to think of what comes next and also we truly cannot afford it forever.[/quote]

How often do you think the nanny would want to/be able to see your kid after she is no longer employed by you? Is she the type that’s would stay close? [/quote]

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