Reply to What is it with people given childless couples unsolicited fertility advice?

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[quote=Anonymous]I kind of feel like it’s because our generation seems to more likely to really, really want to get all of our ducks in a row before seriously considering growing our families. I think it’s especially surprising to people our parents’ generation and earlier, who kind of jumped in without funds, before establishing careers, etc etc and kind of muddled their way through and made it work. So you get a lot of the “Well we did, you’ll be fine/you should be able to, too.”

The other thing I noticed is that at least in our case, the only people giving this advice were people who themselves had children, and the older the children were, the more likely they were to give that advice. Child-free people were not trying to lend helpful perspective on fertility etc. So I took that to mean that as people with experience being parents, they for whatever reason thought there was more of a benefit in not delaying; something they could from “the other side,” as it were. But I do think that these types of people also tend to see nothing wrong with sacrificing absolutely everything for the sake of children they presuppose you absolutely will want in your life, and they seem to have trouble understanding that that’s just not everyone’s view.

I never got offended at those comments though; I feel kind of isolated here sometimes so in my case, anyone I like, whose judgment I trust, is welcome to be part of my village - I can always choose not to take their advice.[/quote]

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